5/1/08
Solid if not Scintillating
The New England Patriots were not
flashy, but they were effective on draft weekend, going right after
their needs. After last year’s draft day heist of Randy Moss, you knew
that the ’08 event was going to be much less exciting than the ’07
edition. It would be very hard for Scott Pioli and company to do
something as amazing as trading a fourth-rounder for a man who had the
greatest statistical season in history at his position right? They did
make a trade though, trading down with the New Orleans Saints, swapping
their #7 for NOLA’s #10 in exchange for the Saints’ third round pick and
a third rounder next year.
Linebackers Need Apply
1st round #10, Jerrod Mayo, ILB,
Tennessee
“He is a pretty versatile player,
did a lot of things down at Tennessee. Played inside, played outside
played in sub defense, played in the kicking game,” Belichick explained
shortly after the pick. So, where will Mayo fit into the Patriots’ 3-4
defensive scheme?
Linebacker was the primary concern
heading into this draft as Junior Seau likely won’t be back for a 19th
season and Roosevelt Colvin was cut. The Pats added Victor Hobson away
from At 6’1” 245, Mayo has size and with a 4.55 forty, he brings speed
to the table too. He is athletic and most likely to have an impact as
any defender on the draft board. Most important is that versatility
Belichick spoke of; which will get him on the field early and often.
Being multifaceted is a trait highly coveted to the “Patriot Way.”
Starting linebacker Adalius Thomas is perhaps the most versatile
defender in the game today and he will serve as a good mentor for Mayo.
This will be key when the injury bug bites again in the front seven.
3rd round #78, Shawn
Crable, LB, Michigan
The Patriots rarely draft for
need; most years they don’t have to, but they added some badly needed
linebacker depth for their 3-4 system in the third round. The
linebackers that are healthy and still remain are all on the wrong side
of 30 and not getting any younger. Highlights from Crable’s profile on
patriots.com “With Crable's tall and rangy frame, some talent evaluators
feel that he could bulk up for a possible switch to the defensive line,
where his pass rushing and pass coverage skills could excel as a hybrid
linebacker/defensive end. Evident by his 28.5 tackles behind the line of
scrimmage as a senior, the Wolverine has proven to be among the elite
blitzers in the 2008 NFL Draft pool.”
6th round #197, Bo Ruud,
LB, Nebraska
“He has volunteered with local
hospital visits, American Education Week and the Lincoln Midget football
league.” Patriots.com Don’t know if he’ll make the team, but anyone who
gives his time to work with midgets is a-ok in my book!
Cornering the Market
This off-season has also seen the
departure of Asante Samuel, Randall Gay and Eugene Wilson. Given that he
went to the University of Illinois, the Wilson departure truly hurts me
quite a bit. Here’s what the Pats did on draft day to rebuild their
depleted secondary
2nd round #78, Terrence
Wheatley, CB, Colorado
“One of the fastest players in
college, Wheatley's sudden burst and running stride has also brought him
success as a kickoff returner. His 1,350 yards on kickoff returns rank
second on the school's all-time record list and his 919 yards on those
returns in 2007 set a school record.” Patriots.com
4th round #129
Jonathan, Wilhite, CB, Auburn
According to his Patriots website
scouting report: “In 34 games at Auburn, Wilhite started 23 contests. He
registered 101 tackles (77 solos) with a 9-yard sack and a quarterback
pressure. He recovered and caused one fumble, adding fourteen pass
deflections and three interceptions. Wouldn’t it be great if Rodney
Harrison helped mentor this kid into the kind of DB that racks up both
sacks and interceptions like Harrison does? Hopefully, he won’t play
with the same type of “roid rage” that Harrison does though!
The Patriots really don’t have any
“needs” on offense, so everyone they added this weekend was essentially
a “value” selection. If these players do make the team, they are not
likely to contribute much.
3rd
round #94 Kevin O’Connell, QB, San Diego State
5th round #153 Matthew
Slater, WR, UCLA
You Only Tape Twice
It’s pretty rare for a 16-0 team
to have a top ten draft pick. Oh wait, there’s never been a 16-0 team
until this year, so it’s really rare! The Pats had the 49ers pick
and that’s why they had such a high first round draft pick. They also
didn’t have their own due to that whole “Spygate” thing. The draft was
big news this week, but the even bigger news was the announcement that
former employee Matt “secret agent man” Walsh has struck a deal with the
NFL and a d-day has now been set. The Maui golf pro and his lawyer now
have an arrangement on the league that on May 13th, we’ll see
just what he has to bring to the table. He may have evidence that the
Pats taped the Rams walk-through the night before the 2002 Super Bowl.
Or that may just be a rumor. Either way, you know we’ll get a little
more information on this espionage story, and you know that I’ll have a
lot to say about these 007 style “Patriot Acts” next month.
3/28/08
Requesting Reinforcements: It’s no secret
where the Patriots are going to go on draft day, the back eight on
defense.
With the draft just about a month away time
to reflect on 2007’s Draft.
First Round: (21st) Brandon “Hollaman”
Meriweather, S, Miami
Only draft pick
to make an impact, he could start in Samuel’s place, now that Asante
bolted. Had 27 tackles, 18 solo. He didn’t contribute all that much on
the field, but at least he has his amateur rap career as “Hollaman” to
help keep him busy. You can hear his x-rated rhymes with the “7th Floor
crew” here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IPqjgS0Of8
Fourth Round (127th): Kareem Brown, DT,
Miami
Did not make team
Fifth Round (136th): Clint Oldenburg, OT,
Colorado State
Did not make team
Sixth Round:
(180th) Justin Rogers, OLB, Southern
Methodist
Did not make team
(the copy and paste function on my laptop is
getting quite a workout here!)
(202nd) Mike Richardson, CB, Notre Dame
Made team, but never registered any
statistics in a single game box score. So he affected the team about as
much as salads and rice cakes impact his former coach Charlie Weiss’s
grocery list.
(207st) Justice Hairston, RB, Central
Connecticut
Who? You know you’re inconsequential when
even a Pats geek like me has never even heard of you!
(208th) Corey Hilliard, OT, Oklahoma St .
Who is this guy? Did he even play in the
preseason? Like Hairston, he failed to make the team. What a broke draft
so far!
Seventh Round
(211th): Oscar Lua, ILB, USC
The former Trojan turned heads last year,
and maybe would’ve made the team if not for a leg injury that put him on
IR. He was released a couple weeks ago, so let’s pour out a little
liquor for the Oscar Lua era!
(247th): Mike Elgin, G/C, Iowa
See Brown through Hilliard above. I doubt
that even Mike Elgin has heard of Mike Elgin!
On opening day, the secondary will look very
different from what it was in 07. The now departed Randall Gay was the
nickel back who produced 38 tackles and a fumble recovery in the 07
season. The first time I remember seeing the now departed Eugene Wilson
make a play on the gridiron, I was a senior in college and the football
beat writer for the student daily at the University of Illinois. Wilson
was a freshman at the time and he housed a punt 60 yards in a
non-conference blowout of Arkansas St. “Geno” went on to have a great
collegiate and pro career in the eight years since then. However, the
last couple of seasons have been rough for the injury-plagued 5’9” DB.
Maybe things will be better for him in Tampa.
And of course, star CB Asante Samuel is now
gone to Philadelphia and truly replacing him is the off-season’s number
one priority. Ellis Hobbs started at the opposite corner position with
Randall Gay (now with New Orleans) serving as the main backup. Hobbs’
solid season was overshadowed by Samuel. Ellis set a new career high for
pass breakups and finished seventh on the team in tackles. With Samuel
moving on, he must step up as the team’s most reliable corner. The Pats
responded to all these losses by signing cornerbacks Lewis Sanders,
Fernando Bryant and S Tank Williams.
There was also a significant loss in the
linebacking corps. Rosey Colvin, the only high priced free agent the
Pats have signed in recent years (before last year’s bonanza of course),
finished third on the team in sacks and second in fumble recoveries.
Impressive when you consider how me missed pretty much the whole second
half of the season due to injury. The loss of him and $5.5 million
salary was necessary given the fact he failed a team physical.
Over The Hill: (Players who will need to be
replaced soon)
- Rodney Harrison
- Junior Seau
-Linebacking corps: every player has been
in the league almost 10 years
On the NFL Draft Blitz mock draft, USC
linebacker Keith Rivers is currently listed as the Pats pick. With this
analysis:
The Patriots run a hybrid 3-4 that enables
them to use players to their maximum potential. Rivers is not a perfect
fit as a 3-4 Inside Linebacker, but he will make plays and replace Tedy
Bruschi in a year.
Here are some other potential first round
picks you should know about:
Mike Jenkins
Ryan Clady
Aqib Talib
Leodis McKelvin
2/14/08
Do I really have to do this?
Reflect on how the season ended while the painful wound is still very
fresh? Last week, I was in my “I’ll gather/display strength in the
darkest hour moment,” in regards to the Super Bowl. This week is “kiss
my white a$$, you jealous and petty Patriot hating bastards,” mood.
Everything I have to say to people who thought the Super Bowl was
glorious) could best be expressed by my pal Fitzy in this video. He
echoes my sentiments exactly…in slightly coarser language.
The Patriots had the greatest
regular season in history. Period. They became so great and powerful in
2007 that they were despised by most of America because of it. However,
becoming upset by an underdog that never should have been there in the
first place ruined everything. Only 16-0 team ever…check. Most points
scored in a season…check. AFC Title…check. Super Bowl ring?...there’s
work left to do here. Luckily, the Pats have the 49ers draft pick this
season. So the first 16-0 team will have the #7 overall draft pick to
replenish their arsenal for ’08. Here’s what I see as the team’s main
weaknesses:
1. Defense between the 20s
2. Run Defense
3. Cornerback (Asante Samuel
probably will be departing)
4. Linebacker depth
Among the many free agents that
could interest the team, I think these are the ones that the Pats will
be after the most: Marcus Trufant, Drayton Florence, Mike Doss, Lance
Briggs, Boss Bailey, and Danny Clark. The Pats peaked WAY too early,
throttling Buffalo 56-10 in midseason, but blowing out no one else but
the Steelers the rest of the way. I know that sounds weird to say,
winning but NOT blowing anyone out. Perhaps we all became too spoiled
this season; how would like to be an Arizona Cardinals or Buffalo Bills
fan? Whining about winning by just 7 instead of by 27 is not often an
option for them. So we should maintain a sense of perspective; no
victories are promised to us. To quote Bernie Mac at the beginning of
Kanye West’s second album, “you think this is easy, this promised to
you, well ain’t nothing promised to you, look at me do I look like I
have promise face?” In the Super Bowl, the Patriots encountered the
worst combination of bad luck and bad breaks possible, not to mention a
New York Giants team that had the most improbable and impossible playoff
run in NFL history. Brady was clearly not 100% physically in the Bowl,
and likely not himself in the AFC Title game either.
Also, how on Earth did
this unit self-destruct so badly to yield 5 sacks to New York in the
Super Bowl? To quote Daniel Powter, “cause you had a bad day.”
The adversity of the late
minute collapse tested the resolve of Patriots fans all over the world.
I was in mourning for some time. I got in a better mood by purchasing a
Eugene Wilson jersey a couple days after the loss. He’s the only link
between the two teams I’ve covered regularly in my young writing career.
(I was the football beat reporter for the student daily at the
University of Illinois while he was there.) With a couple upgrades in
the right places this off-season, title number four is a very real
possibility. Certainly not a forgone conclusion though. We just learned
the hard way what happens when you start planning victory parties and
celebratory books about seasons.
Will we recover and win it all next
year? In the words of Barack Obama, “Yes We Can!”
1/30/08
60 Minutes till Immortality: 18-0 and
one to go
Like Miami Sharks head coach Tony
D-Amato (Al Pacino’s character in Oliver Stone’s film Any Given
Sunday) told his team during his inspirational speech “I don’t know
what to say really. 30 minutes to the biggest game of your professional
lives…” We all know how big Sunday is, nothing more really needs to be
said. We’ve endured two weeks of media hype running the same storylines
into the ground and forcing meaningless ones down our throat. So I’m
not going to talk to you about Brady’s boot, or Kevin Faulk being the X
factor, or Laurence Mauroney’s rushing yards increase in the second half
or Tom Coughlin’s defensive game plan to make the Patriots
one-dimensional. No, I’m going to give you a fresh column with
information and ideas. You’ve all heard so many of the same things over
and over gain this week because this is the biggest stage there is; and
it’s even bigger this year because history is on the line.
This quote from Doug Haller’s
column in the The Arizona Republic states my point perfectly:
"(The Super Bowl) is the single biggest shared common experience in
American society," said Mark Dyreson, an associate professor of
kinesiology and history at Penn State. "For better or worse, you can't
get much bigger than that. The Super Bowl does better than Christmas,
the Fourth of July, any singular event."
Critic’s Corner
How did the Chicago Tribune
sports columnist Mike Downey get his job? The Patriots-Chargers game
inspired him to write GOD AWFUL columns that make him look either
retarded, spineless or both. He tried to convince us that the Chargers
would pull off a huge upset by listing the names of cheerleaders that he
saw on the San Diego Charger Girls website. I can’t believe this guy has
actually WON journalism awards, because almost of the columns are…well,
maybe his work is a reason why that crazy OSU coach Mike Gundy screamed
at his notorious press conference “That’s why I don’t read newspapers,
cuz they’re GARBAGE!” First, Downey proudly proclaims that the Chargers
will win (without listing a single salient reason why by the way) in his
Sunday column. Then the next day he tries to cover his butt, by writing
a column full of sorry excuses. Given the rare event he writes something
that makes sense, he still sounds like an old, creepy, out-of-touch old
man trying to sound hip.
-On the other side of the
spectrum, juxtapose the crapola above to this succinct and insightful
piece “Yes, Belichick really is a Genius” from William C. Rhoden of the
New York Times. Rhoden does an excellent job articulating the
perspective of the game today versus when Paul Brown and Vince Lombardi
roamed the sidelines. The column tells us in both an efficient and
entertaining manner why Belichick’s special gifts and cerebral approach
grant him a special place in the elite coaching pantheon. Talent wise,
comparing Rhoden to Downey is like (let’s use a wide receiver analogy
here) 2007 Randy Moss versus 2006 Bam Childress.
“Shipping Up to Boston…whoa..ohhhh”
-We all love Tom Brady’s MVP
season, and he is probably ‘America’s Golden Boy’ right now as the USA’s
starting quarterback, but take a minute to think about how ridiculous it
is for him to be harassed by paparazzi all the time? No seriously, just
ponder how absurd it is for someone to be pursued by stalkerish
photographers who fill a market consumed by losers with too much time on
their hands. A picture is worth a thousand words, so check out this
video of Brady from tmz.com
-I’m sure you’ll agree that too
many people in our nation need to get a life. Leave him alone! Just let
him do his thing.
-In winning his fourth AFC title,
Tom Brady became the fastest to gain 100 wins as a QB, getting there in
16 fewer starts than Joe Montana and 29 fewer than Brett Favre:
Tom Brady 100-26-0
Joe Montana 100-42-0
Ken Stabler 100-49-1
Johnny Unitas 100-50-3
Bart Starr 100-50-5
Brett Favre 100-55-0
-One of the most famous Patriots
fans on the internet, BradyFan83 is back with two parody music videos
that are certain to appeal to Patriots Nation. The first “Mr. Tomlinson”
highlights LTD’s losses in the postseason.
The second is BF83’s video apology
to Randy Moss
Prediction Time:
Patriots vs. Giants II: This time
it's personal! Forgive the cheesy action-movie tagline, because the
first meeting was actually personal too. (Well, sort of) In early 2006,
a former New York Giants secretary, Sharon Shenocca named Bill Belichick
as "the other man" in her brutally bitter divorce proceedings. So
maybe it's time to run up the score with some "F@# You Touchdowns" as
ESPN’s ‘Sports Guy’ would say. There haven't been many Pats
blowouts lately, but they also haven't played in a warm/indoor climate
in awhile. Arizona will have pleasant conditions, a faster track, and a
quicker pace to the game; BIG advantage to New England. You’ve heard
about that “fierce Giants pass rush that’s supposed to destroy Brady?”
That would be the SAME unit that didn’t sack him until
there was just nine minutes left during the week 17 game. And that
occurred ONLY because of a missed assignment by the Pats What about Tom
Brady's walking boot? My answer is to simply cite the most oft-quoted
line of Sun Tzu's The Art of War. "All warfare is based on
deception." It will be yet another example of Bill Belichick’s genius.
Expect his game plan from this blowout to join his Super Bowl XXV and
XXXV masterpieces which are already in Canton. Patriots 49, Giants 27
By the way, in the
Patriots trivia application on Facebook, I have a score ranking #545 out
of 279,876 total participants
1/23/08
Why Patriots Haters have no Case!
The 2007 New England Patriots
are one win away from becoming the greatest team in NFL history,
perhaps the greatest team in American sports history. So why are
they so despised? You’d think people would just enjoy watching the
path to perfection, but the hatred and bitterness is awfully strong
among American football fans right now. And it carries over to the
field; just ask numerous whining members of the vanquished San Diego
Chargers. So I must quickly say, “Hey San Diego, thanks for Coming!”
Which reminds me that I forgot to say, “Hey Colts, thanks for
coming!” last week.
Here are the Charges being
brought against the Patriots by the rest of the football loving
universe:
Charge #1: Head Coach Bill
Belichick is an evil cheat.
The verdict: GUILTY, but
sentence has already been served. He’s paid a debt and its time to
move on. I’m going to take two famous sound bites from the steroid
era of baseball: Mark McGwire’s “I’m not here to talk about the
past” and Barry Bonds’ “this record is not tainted.” Although both
obviously had something to hide, such is not the case in Foxboro,
Massachusetts. 18-0 is not tainted and Pats
haters need to move on. They took a half-million bucks from BB and
his first round draft pick. Hasn’t he been punished enough?
Charge #2: QB Tom Brady is a
philandering playboy, a condescending pretty boy player with tons of
baby mama drama.
The Verdict: NOT GUILTY ON ALL
CHARGES. It’s always funny to me how the same women who claim to be
relationship experts are always the ones who end up whining about
being “screwed over” by the man who won’t commit to them. Hey, you
picked him. If you want sympathy, go vent with your Avril Lavigne
and Alanis Morrissette lyrics. You may get compassion from Dr. Phil,
Oprah, and the rest of the dating-industrial complex, but you’ll get
none here. If you’re Tom Brady, all women want you and all men want
to be you. So both Gisele and Bridget know whom they’re dealing
with. They knew what they were getting into.
Bottom line, you have to get
it done in your job no matter what goes on in your personal life,
because your boss won’t accept that as an excuse. What if Gisele
showed up to Gillette Stadium last Sunday? Would everyone blame
Brady’s uncharacteristic three interceptions on her presence? You
know there’s absolutely no way that the grey hoody would let that
fly.
Charge #3: The coach is an
uncharismatic, arrogant, aloof, condescending, mean, grouchy, evil,
home-wrecking monster.
The Verdict: NO CONTEST
Michael Jordan is regarded as the best basketball player alive. He’s
also regarded to be a horrible human being. Everyone I know who has
met him describes him as (at best) a soulless corporation disguised
as a human being or (at worst) names that I cannot type here. None
of that has a smidgeon of influence on his hardwood achievements. If
you want to hate Belichick, that’s fine; but don’t hate him as a
coach because you think you hate him as a person. His lack of public
relations skills and/or inability to manage his image persona has
absolutely no effect on his brilliant ability to coach.
Charge #4: Their star wide
receiver Randy Moss is a magnet for legal trouble.
The Verdict: CASE DISMISSED
Moss may have a deeply checkered past, but since his
Oakland days, he’s been a model
citizen. The battery case with a
Florida woman sounds more like a
very bad breakup than it does a felony.
Charge #5: They bludgeoned
their opponents to death this season by running up the score long
after the game was decided.
The Verdict: NOT GUILTY
Someone has to hold the record for most points scored in an NFL
season, right? Why not the ‘07 Pats? If you don’t like having your
throat stepped on as you lay on the ground…then stop your opponent
from knocking you down in the first place. Were some of those extra
touchdowns scored this year unnecessary? Sure, but obtaining points
is the point of the game. So do you still hate this team? Hopefully,
your hate is just based on the irrationality of pure emotion.
Because I’ve just shown that your hatred can’t be based on logic and
reason!
By the way, when you get the
chance, check out my Jan 18th
Red Eye guest panel appearance
in my Bill Belichick sweater; the Red Eye is a daily publication of
the Chicago Tribune, geared towards 18-34 year olds.
By the way, in the
Patriots trivia application on Facebook, I finished all the
questions with a final score ranking #716 out of 264,257
total participants.
1/16/08
AFC Title Bout: Patriots enter healthy
and fresh, Chargers enter banged up
This game certainly has a boxing
ring to it. As I watched the other two remaining AFC teams slug it out
and acquire new injuries, I thought, “man whoever the Pats get will
really be missing a lot of key guys.”
Oh, was that sweet to see Peyton Manning go
home early. Do I like the Colts? Yes, about as much as I like mosquito
bites, cold sores, and CO2 pollution. The Colts got eliminated by Billy
Volek, Darren Sproles, and a one-footed Antonio Gates. As Borat would
say “very nice. I like.” Thanks, San Diego. However, the party’s over
now! {Unless the Pats secondary completely collapses}
Nuggets and tidbits from
Divisional Weekend
-What did I say in my column last
weekend?
“The playoffs are when Bill
Belichick breaks out the brilliant and unexpected tactics that no one
sees coming. Remember the first round win over the Jets last season with
that bizarre swinging gate type of formation near the goal line? The
direct snap to the setback”
You all saw the fake the overly
high snap/direct snap play inside the 5 resulting in a Ben Watson
touchdown. Look for something like this again when the Pats get inside
the ten. Why do so many people hate Belichick? Can’t they just
appreciate his genius like we do?
-Critical Condition: Jaguars
rookie safety makes dumb remark in response to Tom Brady’s record
setting night
What’s with all the trash talk
this season from Bush-Leaguers? We had that annoying Mercury Morris from
’72 Dolphins and Anthony Smith guaranteeing a win. Now this:
Jaguars rookie safety Reggie
Nelson. "He ain't all that … He's all right," Nelson said. “It was a
check down game," Nelson said, suggesting that most of Brady's
completions were short and easy to complete. "Anybody can go 26-of-28 in
a dump-down game."
Reggie, then what does that make
you? You are certainly less than all right then. Brady set an NFL RECORD
by completing 92.9 percent of his passes: 26 for 28 for 262 yards and
three touchdowns. One of his incompletions was a drop by the usually
sure-handed Wes Welker. You said anyone can do it…then how come no one
else in NFL history had, before Saturday night?
-Tom Dimitroff was hired as
general manager of the Atlanta Falcons on Sunday, leaving his job as
director of scouting for the unbeaten New England Patriots. Dimitroff,
who has been with the Patriots since 2002, will direct the Falcons'
football operations, including working with a new head coach on draft
decisions, free agency, trades and other personnel decisions. He’s
moving on up like “the Jeffersons.”
-Head coaches are known for
trademark clothing garments. Les Miles: white baseball hat, Tom Landry:
Fedora hat, Steve Spurrier: visor and of course, Bill Belichick:
sleeveless grey hooded sweatshirt. We can now add Jack Del Rio and his
very original Jaguars leather jacket to the list.
Going where no one else has
been: 18-0!!!
The Chargers are peaking at the
right time, having won 8 in a row. Should we be worried? Maybe. Probably
not. Because San Diego is a great match-up for the Patriots.
There’s a reason they lost 38-14
in week two in a game that New England took very easy during the last
20-25 minutes. The Chargers won’t be able to pressure Brady enough and
the Pats have too many weapons on offense. It’s not likely that Moss
will be held to one catch for 14 yards again. Even if he is, Welker,
Watson, Faulk, Maroney, Gaffney, Stallworth etc. will all pick up the
slack.
Ladanian “on the Pats, if you
ain’t cheatin’ you ain’t tryin” Tomlinson and Phillip Rivers should
play. And a one footed Antonio Gates likely will too. But will they be
100%? No. Will they be 75-80%? Will that be enough to pull off an upset?
Billy Volek and Michael Turner are serviceable back-ups, but not
big-time playmakers. Darren Sproles is a decent return man, but he’s not
as huge a threat receiving or running as he’s been portrayed lately. He
has four all-purpose touchdowns this season, three of which came against
the colts, two in one quarter. Some may call him an X-factor. I call him
a guy who’s averaged 20 yards from scrimmage a game for a reason.
How can San Diego win this game?
By going to medical school? Maybe Shawn Merriman can pass those steroids
around the locker room and help his team heal quicker. New England has
looked vulnerable against the pass lately, but part of that is due to
1.) They’ve shut down the run a lot better the last couple of games 2.)
Most teams are usually trailing the Patriots, and they need to pass to
catch up in a limited amount of time. San Diego will certainly be helped
if pigs get cleared for takeoff at Boston Logan airport and/or Satan
finds the temperature in his home community dropping below 32 degrees
Fahrenheit. But hey, anything can happen. That’s why they play the
games. Any given Sunday…cliché…cliché…etc.
De-Ja Blue
The Pats conference title game is
starting to remind me of my hometown Chicago Bears playoff run last
year: a one seed getting a tougher match-up and challenge in the
divisional round, not the title game. Both the Bears and Pats played
“America’s Team” in the conference final game. Both the Chargers and
Saints became media darlings after a historically devastating natural
disaster displaced citizens of their cities. Many took refuge in their
home stadiums. Because of climate change terrorizing their fan base and
the underdog status of both teams, most people in America rooted/are
rooting for the Saints and Chargers. I expect a similar result this
time: the home team in dark blue jerseys will pull away in the second
half and snow will fall in the 4th quarter as a sort of
natural celebratory confetti!
The pick: Patriots 44 Chargers 23.
Hey San Diego, thanks for coming!
By the way, in the
Patriots trivia application on Facebook, I now rank #846 of 255,633
1/10/08
AFC Divisional Playoff Preview:
Jacksonville at New England
“Jaguar is Performance,” How the
Jags could spring the Upset
-Like Black Jack, keep it under 21
The worst thing that could happen
to Jacksonville is for them to get caught in a shootout. You know the
basketball phrase “just trading baskets?” they need to do the complete
opposite by dominating time of possession and playing lights out
defense.
-Born to Run
Jaguar automobile company prides
itself on their products’ ability to run forever; run well and run
smoothly. Kind of like the Jaguar football team. The Jaguars will get
their top tier running game going and their MoJo working. Fred Taylor
will also get his carries and yards against New England’s 26th
ranked run defense. Of course, the Patriots are second in the NFL in
scoring defense, so these Jags will find stop signs and road blocks once
they drive into the red zone. If they can maneuver into the end zone
during each drive deep into Patriots territory, it will be a tight race
to the end.
-Bradykiller
The Jaguars will have to harass
Brady, get in his facemask, get some sacks, and force a lot of hurried
throws. Jeremy Mincey, Bobby McCray, and company will need to have the
game of their lives to get this tall order accomplished. The Patriots
will be going after the rookie safety out of Florida, Reggie Nelson, in
their passing game. If he doesn’t grow up in a hurry, it’s up to fellow
youngster OLB Justin Durant and veteran safety Sammy Knight to
compensate. Overall, Jacksonville would likely need to win the turnover
battle by a very big margin to take this game.
Why
Jacksonville WON’T pull off the upset
-Doomed to repeat History
The Patriots have won nine
consecutive home playoff games dating back to Dec. 31, 1978. I was just
10 months old the last time the Patriots lost a home playoff game. New
England's nine consecutive home playoff victories are tied for the
second longest streak in NFL history. The Patriots will play in their
22nd playoff game since Robert Kraft purchased the team in 1994, the
highest number in the entire league over that time. During their 12-year
history, the Jaguars have never won in New England.
-Under Center of Attention
Brady holds the NFL record for
most consecutive wins in the post season at 10 and has an overall
postseason record of 12-2. He also has a regular season career record of
98-26. David Garrard is making his second career postseason start and
looked squeamish at times last Saturday night. If Garrard falls behind
early, he may not be able to get himself back up. If Brady falls behind
late…see film of the New York Giants and Baltimore Ravens comeback
victories.
Also, Peter Christian, a friend
and colleague of mine, got into an email debate with the ONE guy who
voted for Brett Favre instead of Brady for MVP. He points out to Frank
Cooney, owner of The Sports Xchange.com, why Brady should have been
unanimous!
http://www.thesportsbank.net/bradyretort.html
-Weather or not
A lot of people thought cold,
stormy, and wintry weather would favor the Jaguars. Unfortunately, for
Patriot haters, the forecast calls for temperatures in the 40s and
partly cloudy at game time. We all know the weather reports are anything
but certain, but it doesn’t look like a blizzard is coming to save
Jacksonville. This is a pretty lousy theory anyway. Why should “Patriots
Weather” favor the Florida team?
-Genius at Work
Jacksonville’s game plan is to run
the ball and try to keep New England’s Imperial offense off the field.
Well, the Pats can win with a run-oriented, grind-it-out approach too.
See week 15 versus the New York Jets. The playoffs are when Bill
Belichick breaks out the brilliant and unexpected tactics that no one
sees coming. Remember the first round win over the Jets last season with
that bizarre swinging gate type of formation near the goal line? The
direct snap to the setback which caught the “Mangenius” in green and
white with his pants down? It's like Belichick baiting Kyle Boller and
Jay Feeley in successive weeks during the regular season, his coverage
schemes gave the Ravens and Eagles passing games a false sense of
security with success on the short and intermediate routes. BB knew both
QBs would get greedy, go deep, and the Pats secondary was waiting to
pick both of them off and end their upset chances.
I like to think I understand what
Belichick was doing there because I’ve studied his work (32 Years in the
NFL, 13-3 postseason record) so intensely. Plus we have similar
educational backgrounds with credentials from fine academic
institutions; he has an economics degree and I have an MBA. So we both
look at football in a business-like manner stressing “market-place
efficiency.” One of my friends sent me an email today saying: (likely
sarcastically)
“….Unless you did it that way for a reason (you are the Belichick-like
genius).”
Well, maybe when it comes to
Patriots trivia. If you’re on Facebook, join the Patriots fan
application and take the trivia challenge. My 8,240 total points rates
me #1,708 out of 246,109. Which is a Will Hunting level “wicked smahht”
score. However, until I reach #1, I’m not quite a ‘Belichickian’ genius.
When the playoffs began, I thought
Pittsburgh would advance to this game…And they really should have. I
think Jacksonville will be a much tougher test than the Steelers would
have been. It will take the Patriots until the mid 4th to
pull away and win.
The pick: Patriots 37, Jaguars 27
You’ll see many
interesting New England Patriots themed photos and graphics in the
comments box at myspace.com/paulmbanks
1/2/08
16-0
PERFECT SEASON!!! & My End of the Year Awards
By Paul
M. Banks
It was
an amazing and historical regular season in which no hyperbole can truly
describe everything the New England Patriots accomplished. The first
perfect season in a generation featured so many highlights, it was
difficult to decide who deserved each award. Some people had to be left
out. Sorry.
My 2007 end of the year awards:
The
Outkast Award for “The way you move…do-do-do.” Offense- Randy Moss & Wes
Welker
In a lot of games this
season, Wes Welker was the de facto MVP. How many crucial third and long
receptions did we see him make? Or how about all those bubble screens he
grabbed at the line and turned upfield for huge plays. Watching the 5’9”
185 LB Welker
dominate NFL defenders to the tune of 1175 yards and 8 scores with his
sweet jukes and nifty moves was pure joy. The diminutive one shattered
the Pats franchise record with 112 receptions tying Cincinnati’s T.J….I’m
too tired to try spelling his last name correctly now.
The way in which Randy Moss set a new NFL
record for TDs was distinctive. Scoring grab #23 went right through his
hands and we all gasped in disappointment. SO on the very next play
Brady goes right back to him, right down the sideline and Moss burns the
Giants for 65 yards and and the record; for both himself and Brady.
Moss’
98 catches ranked third in the NFL. His
1493 yards led the entire league
The
Outkast Award for “The way you move…do-do-do.” Defense- Adalius Thomas
It’s
amazing to see a man that big move with the speed, agility, and
quickness of linebacker adalius Thomas. Or maybe it’s unique to see
someone that fast and nimble be that large. Either way, Thomas was a big
reason why the Patriots defense finished second in the league in points
allowed.
The Outkast Award for “The way you
move…do-do-do.” Special Teams- Ellis Hobbs
With
all the Spygate coverage and offensive records being set, we almost
forgot about his NFL record tying 108 kickoff return against the New
York Jets in week one.
Offensive MVP –The
entire offensive line unit
Yes, I know Tom Brady will likely win the league MVP for his record
setting numbers and Randy Moss will probably finish second, but I’m
going to defy convention and give this award to all the starters (three
of which are going to Hawaii) and reserves who gave him the necessary
protection to make all this happen. What makes this unit even more
psychologically dominating is the fact that they don’t employ a lot of
‘Max Protect’ schemes (I’ve met Max Protect in person by the way, he’s a
really cool and nice guy) because the Pats bread and butter offensive
set is a three-wide. Unlike last year when we saw mostly ‘double tight’
sets.
Defensive MVP –Tedy
Bruschi
A lot of people hate the Patriots and are jealous of their success.
However, no one hates Bruschi. His life story is so heartwarming and
inspiring that no one can espouse vitriol on #54. He is the heart and
soul of this defense. The 12 year veteran led the team in tackles by a
wide margin.
Newcomer of the year- Randy Moss
To quote Outkast again “glitter glisten floss floss I catch a beat
runnin’ like Randy Moss”
Stat of the year
49
straight when winning the turnover margin.
+313
scoring differential.
NFL
record for points scored, its just too difficult to decide.
Play
of the year
Brady to Moss for 6, in the first quarter
of the Giants game. Two individual records are tied and a team record
falls; all on one play.
Play
of the year runner up
-Brady
to Moss for TD pass #50 and TD reception #23
-Brady
laterals to Randy Moss, it hits the ground, Moss picks it up laterals
back to Brady, who goes deep to Jabar Gaffney. The ball goes into end
zone right over the head of the Steelers idiot rookie DB who previously
guaranteed a victory.
Gaffney’s thoughts on the play:
"When I took off everyone bit up
and I knew that if it made it back to Tom, it would be a touchdown. It
took like forever for the ball to come down. I looked back and it was
still in Tom's hand and I was like 'come on, let's throw it.'"
Story of the Year (for the People
Magazine crowd)
Tom
Brady, Bridget Moynahan, and supermodel Gisele Bundchen; the gossip
pages were all over this team’s QB and his affairs. Brady once talked in
an interview about how he had three older sisters and no brothers
growing up. And how those sisters loved drilling him with questions
about his personal life; I remember this because my immediate family is
the exact same and I get the same business. Two big differences: his
personal life is 1,000,000 times more exciting than mine and he has to
deal with the entire nation (as well as his three older sisters) prying
for details about his relationships.
Story of the Year (for the
NSA wiretapping crowd)
Did you hear about this
thing called Spygate? (not the sarcasm) A bunch of people pretty much
called Belichick an evil cheating bastard. The Pats subsequently started
winning games with scores like 52-7 and 56-10. The next stories were all
essentially “Belichick is-an-evil-running-up-the-score-bastard.” What’s
wrong with playing to win? By as much as you can?
Story of the year (All media
outlets)
The perfect season; something we
probably won’t see again in our lifetime.
Quote of
the year (Accuracy division)
We're
going to do the same thing. We try to win every week, believe it or
not."
- Belichick, when asked if there was any extra motivation to beat the
Jets in week 15.
Pure
Belichickian press conferencism: horrendously boring and cliché!
Quote of
the year (Humor division)
"We've
played against a lot better safeties than him, I'll tell you that."
~ Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, when asked if the Patriots were
targeting Steelers safety Anthony Smith
Postseason’s Greetings: #1 Seed. 5th straight AFC East title
(8 of the last 11) 16-0!
PLAYOFFS!!! The three game season
begins in two weeks, I’ll have a preview for you once we know who the
first AFC victim will be. In the mean time, here’s some lyrics I wrote
for a 2007 Patriots themed fight song:
myspace.com/paulmbanks
12/26/07
Historical Offensive
The New England Patriots
offense has set numerous records already, and more are within their
grasp.
The New England Patriots have 15
wins in this regular season; tying a record set by numerous teams, but
New England is the first to start out 15-0. We all know what
happens next week with a win; let’s just hope the cable companies don’t
shut us out from seeing history as the game is slated to be on NFL
Network, NOT nationally broadcasted.
On Sunday, tailback Laurence
Maroney had the best day of his young career, rushing for 156 yards on
just 14 carries. This included a 51-yard run and a 56-yard sprint which
was unlike anything I have ever seen. I’ve seen runs where the scoring
player burned everybody and wouldn’t have been caught even if it were
flag football, but this was different. There was no one else even on
the screen during his 59-yard touchdown run. And it wasn’t just that no
opposing defender was around him for most of his run. He beat every
defender before he even got into the second level of the Miami defense.
Usually, a back will have to accelerate to daylight through the line of
scrimmage, shed a tackle or two within the front seven, then make a move
or cut during his second level open-field burst. A big play like this
usually concludes with outracing the safeties who dropped back to
prevent such a big play. Maroney’s run only included the first part. He
beat all eleven members of the Miami Dolphins defense just by surpassing
the line of scrimmage. You could play John Madden video games for months
and still not accomplish a touchdown run that looked like this. Yes,
this Dolphins defense is terrible and the Pats offensive line is
awe-inspiring, but this New England-catching-Miami-with-their-pants-down
play is still rather unique. I’ve been watching football since I was
four and covering the game in some capacity for multiple years yet I
can’t recall a play like this. The only precedent comes from a fictional
sports movie.
In Dodgeball<
